Анна Карат - Learn to love. 30 tips how to live.

that men appear like a flock of birds – all of them at the same time. Sometimes a man starts paying attention to a woman only after his friend has already paid attention to her. This rule works on women too: «Gosh, who is it with her? Maybe he is good in bed?» Just like that. Interest is there. After that it will be easy for a woman to find reasons to stay interested in him.

Once I said: «To be liked by your husband, you need to be liked by others’ husbands.» I received an interesting response to this phrase: «This is exactly how I got married – when I started dating other men. It was like my intuition led me to do this. I loved him a lot and I suffered a lot without him. Thanks to my «dates» with other men he became more active. I didn’t cheat on him, no. I just had innocent dates: had coffee with somebody, went to theaters or museums. It is very important for a man to show other males that this female is his! You can be liked by men without flirting. If you put on clothing that men admire, they will be surrounding you wherever you go. If you talk about things that are interesting for men, they won’t go far away. I’ve seen it many times how a man would change when he sees that his lady attracts other men, how he falls in love with her again right in front of your eyes.

What shouldn’t you talk about in the first five minutes when you just met him? I don’t recommend girls to:

● Talk about their illnesses.

● Remember and especially quote their mothers.

● Hint that they are in high demand among men.

● Boast about their connections.

● Talk about outfits, make up and diets.

● Smoke a lot.

If you mention your success with other men, your guy will get disappointed before he has a chance to be charmed by you. Your guy won’t show you that you have hurt his feelings, he will just make a note in his head: «She is not the one!» And then she will put a symbolic checkmark on the line «Not good enough for a serious relationship.» The thing is that serious relationships imply that there are only the two of you. Our heart is made this way, that it can love only one person. When it is just you and he, the third person (as well as the rest of the humankind) must be forgotten. There are only the two of you on the whole planet.

A man falls in love in stages. At first you need to interest him with your femininity. Only then you demonstrate your personal qualities. How to intrigue a man in the first minutes of a conversation? There are men’s topics that women don’t usually talk about and don’t know much about (I don’t mean work). Your aim is to surprise him and to stir interest. That is why before you talk to him try to find out what he is interested in. Many men are interested in fishing, cars and politics. A man tries to put in the topic of sex as soon as possible, probably hoping that it is irresistible. A woman shouldn’t talk directly about sex or support this topic in a conversation. It shows she has a low level of intelligence. A man will get bored quickly.

If you want to get to a man’s heart, I can give you the coordinates: you don’t necessarily have to be smart or beautiful, you have to be sincere, happy and you have to create a wish to live. So how do you become such a desirable woman? To begin with, you should become young and fresh like spring. «Spring» women cannot be forgotten. Even men who are happy remember these women. If you manage to become a «spring» woman, you will get into a man’s heart. To get into his heart is not enough. It is important not to fall out. In order not to fall out you need to know a secret. Question: what is the biggest satisfaction for a smart man? Answer: a candid conversation with a smart woman.

So the name of the secret is a «conversational» orgasm. An orgasm means the biggest pleasure. A physical orgasm happens during sex. Let’s call it a typical orgasm. A typical orgasm lasts for several seconds, usually not longer than ten. Maybe somebody has set a record, but we are still talking about seconds. Once I read an article about animals’ orgasms. The record belongs to pigs. It turns out that their orgasm can last for up to thirty minutes. But this is still your corny sexual orgasm. I claim that there is an orgasm of a higher level – conversational. A conversational orgasm can last for hours, as long as five hours even. Just think – five hours of the biggest rush! Moreover, unlike a typical orgasm, a conversational one often leads to positive changes in life. Once you have experienced a conversational orgasm, you will crave more of it.

Don’t hesitate to spend your time on developing eloquence. Good speech is the main sign of a free mind. You are willing to spend time and money on the beauty of your body. Why not spend time and money on communication skills?

Quality conversations are stronger than any drug. There is no cure or antidote. They become rooted in a man’s heart. Why don’t all people have conversational orgasms? The reason for that is that there should be special conditions for these conversations to exist. The first condition: there only should be a man and a woman talking. Nobody can be listening to them. The second condition: people who are talking should be in love with each other. The third condition: all ideas during the conversation are accepted. No interruptions allowed. Your subconscious gives you the best decisions. And your subconscious lives not in your mind, but on your tongue. So you should share any ideas you have and you shouldn’t be criticized for that. The fourth condition: a man and a woman are completely relaxed, there is no control over their words. The conversation should be open. There should be no secrets from each other.

Hiding something is the biggest obstacle for the majority of couples. If one of the partners has a lover on the side, it is a secret of course. So a conversational orgasm cannot happen. If a man has a lover, he is tense. As a result, his subconscious is not going to come out. Reaching a conversational orgasm is the peak of your femininity. In a conversation like that a man is very happy. He enjoys it with his eyes, ears and heart. You can be certain that he will not forget you. You will be his strongest drug. Now you have the initiative. You determine whether he is catching up with you or maybe he is far behind. Femininity is your nature. It’s what differs you from a man. Nature has given you this skill to bring joy without much effort. Men simply can’t do it as easily. If you have forgotten your natural gift, it is never too late to try and remember.

Question 7. What can we talk to men about?

I got divorced a while ago. After being on maternity leave I literally became stupid. It is shameful to admit this, but I can’t support conversations on different topics with different people. I understand that the question that I am about to ask is strange and silly. My ex-husband persuaded me that I am boring and uninteresting to talk to. So how should I start a conversation? How can I become interesting for other people, especially men? How can I support a conversation? I just don’t know where to start! What can I talk with other people about? I understand that I can talk with people about themselves, but I do it in such an awkward and clumsy way. How do I build up this experience?

Answer. Jennifer, your ex-husband used to tell you that you were boring? You did the right thing when you divorced him! Very soon you will see that you are a quite interesting interlocutor. This is the first thing you could say to a man: «I am very interested in your opinion about this one particular problem.» You can add flattering (but true) words explaining why you need expertise of this very man. «I’ve heard of you as a very sensible man», «I’ve read your article», «You’ve helped me not even knowing about it», etc. When --">