Анна Карат - Learn to love. 30 tips how to live.

is proof of that – there are many women who live for decades without sex and without men. And they are quite happy. On the other hand, I know some very vigorous and energetic women who have plenty of male hormones in them. They act like men and need an orgasm at least two times a week. Male sexuality is different and wives should understand that. Statistics are quite curious by the way: single women live longer than married ones, whereas married men live longer than bachelors.

Don’t think that in order to have great sex with you your man needs your perfect nails, clean hair and slim belly. He probably won’t even notice that. He needs your participation in sex, your admiration and pleasure! Sometimes he needs sex just to be able to go to sleep. Women can say «no» to having sex if they think that they don’t look good enough. It’s as if women get aroused by the surroundings or their own beautiful reflection in a mirror. I am going to repeat one more time that men just need to feel wanted and loved for who they are and not for the money and power they might possess.

It doesn’t mean that you need to be passionate every night. All women have different temperaments. Maybe you need an orgasm once in every ten days. So when you are working on this orgasm, do your best to be sexually-unfettered. And in the next nine days your man will be thinking about your orgasm. Find a position in which it will be comfortable for you to reach an orgasm. Don’t be shy and don’t worry that it is always the same position. Very often a woman chooses one or two positions, not more. Do whatever is comfortable for you! Tell your man what he should be doing for your pleasure. It is possible that he won’t figure it out on his own for the rest of his life. Your biggest mistakes are shyness and silence. A bed is not a place where you need to be shy.

I am not urging women to be unable to say no and to always be willing to have sex. On the contrary, your man is happy to try and work hard to «conquer» you and to «possess» you. He will be chasing you and you will be running away as it was planned by nature. However, sometimes you need to show initiative, because men are proud of the fact that women want them. When your man really wants sex, and you for some reason are ready only to «assist» him, tell him about it in the very beginning. You can come up with a funny phrase to describe this kind of behavior, for example, «I am playing the role of timber today» or something like that.

I don’t recommend pretending when it comes to passion and an orgasm. It is deception that can ruin your relationship even if it is hidden. If your man suspects that you lie in bed, he will stop trusting you in everything else. The sooner you will find the button that turns his passion on, the better. For some men this button gets pushed when women tell stories about their former partners or sexual fantasies, for other men – when women moan or, on the contrary, don’t make a sound. Look for that button.

The main pleasure for men is not our orgasm – it is the realization that they possess real females. These females are natural, capricious, naughty, headstrong but conquered by them. If a man doesn’t have this feeling, then something is lost and a woman is to be blamed for this loss. It means that a woman hasn’t made her man her priority.

Question 30. If there is no sex, does it make sense to stay together?

My husband and I are like colleagues. We support each other and we take care of each other, but we haven’t been interested in each other like a man and a woman for a long time now. We have talked about it many times and even mentioned getting a divorce. But we are sort of used to each other. On the other hand, there was no sexual desire. We decided to have a baby. Things became even worse after we had the baby. I want to leave him. I am young. But I am afraid to hurt him. Maybe I should leave him after all? Maybe we should try and work things out?

Answer. I think that if your husband is sexually interested in other women, then you shouldn’t pity him. You are occupying somebody else’s place and he is doing the same. Maybe it is easier to break up now, peacefully. Do it before one of you finds somebody else and it gets ugly with possible scandals and other unpleasant scenes. You have a child together. That is why it is important to stay friends. It doesn’t mean that you should live together for a father to be a father. A father is a protector. He can be a protector even if he lives somewhere else. A divorce doesn’t have to be a tragedy; it can be a celebration. To tell you the truth though, I am strongly against divorces. I honestly think that in your situation the relationship can be saved.

Conclusion

I hope that I was able to open your eyes to see some obvious things and simple ways to achieve your goals. The most important thing is that everything depends only on you. Only you can change things that surround you. And it is wonderful, isn’t it? It would be unbelievably difficult to trust a big part of your life to somebody else. Only you, and one more time – only you, know what makes you happy and what is a happy relationship for you.

A recipe for happiness is individual for each of us. That is why it is necessary to understand one more vital thing. A relationship is something that should bring you joy. Not pain, emotional discomfort, depression or aggression. It should be joy and happiness. That is what any romantic relationship is for. Remember this one though: «Ladies, we never stay where we don’t feel good or where we feel that we are hurting.» We deserve the best and most amazing things that exist in this world.

With love,

Ann Yang

The author's work was used to design the cover of the publication.

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