Дорис Лессинг - Англия и Англия

said Charlie, shaking his head, feeling it roll heavily in the socket of his neck, 'but if you're going to consider at all, then what's the point? I mean, what I think is, for a start-off, there's no doubt about it.

The woman hesitated, started to say something, but let her small bright eyes falter away. She was beginning to colour.

Charlie went on compulsively, his head turning like a clockwork man's: 'It's what you're used to, that's what I say, well I mean. Well, and there's another thing, when all is said and done, and after all, if you're going to take one thing with another…

'Stop it, said the girl, in a sharp high voice.

'It's a question of principle, said Charlie, but his head had stopped rolling and his eyes had focused.

'If you don't stop I'm going to call the guard and have you put in another compartment, said the girl. To the old people she said in a righteous scandalized voice: 'Can't you see he's laughing at you? Can't you see? She lifted the magazine again.

The old people looked suspiciously at Charlie, dubiously at each other. The woman's face was very pink and her eyes bright and hot.

'I think I'm going to get forty winks, said the man, with general hostility. He settled his feet, put his head back, and closed his eyes.

Charlie said: 'Excuse me, and scrambled his way to the corridor over the legs of the man, then the legs of the woman, muttering: 'Excuse me, excuse me, I'm sorry.

He stood in the corridor, his back jolting slightly against the shifting wood of the compartment's sides. His eyes were shut, his tears running. Words, no longer articulate, muttered and jumbled somewhere inside him, a stream of frightened protesting phrases.

Wood slid against wood close to his ear, and he heard the softness of clothed flesh on wood.

'If it's that bloody little bint I'll kill her, said a voice, small and quiet, from his diaphragm.

He opened his murderous eyes on the woman. She looked concerned.

'I'm sorry, he said, stiff and sullen, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean…

'It's all right, she said, and laid her two red hands on his crossed quivering forearms. She took his two wrists, and laid his arms gently down by his sides. 'Don't take on, she said, 'it's all right, it's all right, son.

The tense rejection of his flesh caused her to take a step back from him. But there she stood her ground and said: 'Now look, son, there's no point taking on like that, well, is there? I mean to say, you've got to take the rough with the smooth, and there's no other way of looking at it.

She waited, facing him, troubled but sure of herself.

After a while Charlie said: 'Yes, I suppose you're right.

She nodded and smiled, and went back into the compartment. After a moment, Charlie followed her.

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